I recently attended a 2 day workshop on Emotional Intelligence by Satish Mandora. I could connect more with it since I had received a feedback in October 2015 that my mind, body and soul were not in sync. I was also asked to improve my communication skills and be more aggressive. I think they meant to make me more assertive as I can never become an aggressive person to show anger and fire people. In the past, I had received feedback on looking for role clarity and becoming a facilitator as next level of growth for me. I am thankful to all my senior colleagues for all the feedback I have received in last 1 year. This was much more than I received in my previous roles probably because my knowledge has taken me to places I have been. It’s now upto creating the right attitude, skills, habit and strategy to take me to the next level. Its also important for me to do a lot of self talk to help my cause.
- The 5 areas of EI are: Self Awareness, Self-Management (Self Regulation), Self Motivation, Social Awareness (Empathy) and Social Skills.
- The Ice berg model has 4 levels, from top to bottom they are: Results, Behaviour, Feelings and Belief
- The 4 classifications of Emotions are: Intolerable, Tolerable, Pleasurable and Too Pleasurable
- In the equation A*B=C; A is Activating Event, B is Belief and C is Consequences.’
- The learning that we have is in 4 phases (Learning cycle) :-
a. Unconscious incompetence ( don’t know cycling)
b. Conscious incompetence (know parts of cycle i.e. brakes, handles, etc.)
c. Conscious competence ( know cycling but less confidence at turns)
d. Unconscious competence ( complete knowledge and think other things while cycling)
6. 4-box model of Skill Will Matrix and the leadership styles
Things that I intend to do in future with the learnings
- I will have a face to face interaction with colleagues to understand their “Iceberg model” of (his beliefs, feelings and behaviours”) and explain the results I expect from him.
- Have “Expectations “clearly defined with roles and responsibilities and objectives
- Share “concern” ,demonstrate “Confidence” in Colleagues abilities ( be in Pleasurable and Tolerable zone) and bring more Optimism in his behaviour
- Treat colleagues with empathy during the discussion. Listen to him empathetically, appreciate his achievements and try to understand reason for his shortcomings /complaints without preconceived notion.
- Try to guide Colleagues and improve his will and skill by guiding him
- Use the 5 golden pairs i.e. ( Goals to set priorities, Consequences with different alternatives, discuss problems instead of blaming, discuss the person instead of behavior demonstrated and not labelling and regulating self behavior)
- Move from becoming the big “I”(know it all), dot(know nothing) , small “i” (know something) to bundle of I’s ( know emotions)
I have decided on 3 goals related to health (exercise, marathon, swimming), finance (home, car) and social (writing book) outcomes that I will try to work in the coming days. Will keep updating the blog as I progress.
